I am missing him!

I think I am missing him. This is not the first time that I am missing someone like this. But still he is special and I am missing his each and every word, the moments we spent together, my sleepless nights after his meeting and his unending stories.

For last few days we were away from each other, at least 800 kms. Otherwise also he is thousands of miles away from me. But I always feel his presence when I am at home. I keep listen to him quietly. He takes me for the World tour from Afghanistan to Iran, Iraq, the places I would like to visit searching his footsteps. Slowly, I start feeling sleepy but he doesn't stop, just goes on and on. I close my eyes and sleep in his lap feeling his body moments. Till morning he sits besides me.

He is actually an intelligent man. Of course, he does not need my certificate, the whole world would agree with me. I am the stupid person realised it late. He articulates things whenever we meet. He has lot of knowledge about the World and has a presentation skill also.

These are not only things I like about him. What I like most are his views. They are very much anti-establishment and against imperialist powers. He has gained that authority to speak against his own country, England and the superpower America. He is no more a citizen of any country, father, lover or anyone but an individual in true sense.

There are many such things that brought me so near to him and now he is a part of my life. I don't want to end the relation so early with him but want to cherish it.

More I miss him more I would go close to him and communicate with him. But I don't want
him to stop, he should go on and on and on....

Hmmm I think I need to meet him tonight where I left him last, page no 298 of The Great War For Civilisation by Robert Fisk.

Things Fall Apart

I just finished reading Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, a Nigerian author. The book is based on the South African tribal culture, which is on the verge to change and people's dilemma over accepting the new World.

It portrays life of the tribal people, their happiness, sorrows, rituals, beliefs and gods. Everything seems fine and normal with the people but change is inevitable in life. That change comes in the form of Christian missionaries.

The villagers are confused over resisting or embracing the Christianity. It is difficult to suddenly abandon their culture and take on the new unknown one. Some of the them are excited about the
Christianity and its modern look while others are adamant to leave their roots easily.

Though, I am not in favour of any religion, I liked the technique used by missionaries to show the tribals that their Gods do not exist. But the same formula can be implemented to show that the God otherwise also does not exist. It is very interesting to know.

All the tribes have their evil forests, which are preserved by the community. Missionaries come to the villages and build church and other institutions on the same land. They challenge the God of the
tribesmen that if he really exists then he would stop them. Poor villagers keep waiting that their God would punish the missionaries for the blasphemous act. They wait for few days and months but nothing happens and that raises question in the minds of tribesmen about their God.

The incident leads to the curiosity about Christianity among the people and some prefer conversion. In initial stage, the clan's outcasts people get converted and embrace Christian values which give them more elevated status than the original.

The missionaries with their modern technologies and thoughts create threat to the age old methods of farming, harvesting, building, and cooking. The methods, once necessary for the life, are now,
dispensable.

The title of the book which has been taken from W B Yeats's poem "The Second Coming" is very expressive.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.

Death for Life

I have been reading William Dalrymple’s new book Nine Lives: In Search of the Sacred in Modern India. It is based on real stories of nine people in search of piece, divine and sometimes giving up materialistic world.

A first story is about a nun of Jain religion. She gives away all her life with the belief that all attachments bring sufferings and finally embraces Sallekhana- fast to death.

Her life talks about all sacrifice, control of emotions, pain, sufferings to take new life. “When the body withers completely, the soul will take a new one, like a hermit crab finding a new shell. For soul will not wither, and in rebirth you simply exchange your torn and old clothes for a smart new suit,” she says.

After reading the entire story I have failed to understand the philosophy of the religion. It goes against the basic theory of human birth. We are born to live and death is the ultimate reality.

Why one has to forcefully push oneself to death when we are born to live the life. Living is the basic instinct of human being. All the discoveries and inventions in human history may be good or bad came from this instinct.

Now the second half part of the philosophy, which says the death is only for the body but the soul gets rebirth. It means you have greed to get another body. So, to get a new body, you torture the earlier body by giving up food, pulling hair, refusing to wear proper clothes etc.

I wonder why these contradictions in the theory are not being raised by the followers.

A Foreign Correspondent

Some people are born to do some jobs, this is what I have concluded from the initial few pages of a book by Rober Fisk : The Great War for Civilisation. I am zapped by reading few hundred pages of the book. Fisk was born to work as a foreign correspondent. He has been working in Middle East for more than 30 years and settled in Beirut now. He was one of the three journalists who interviewed Osama Bin Laden before 9/11. Fisk has a great understanding of issues in Middle East and his stand has been always anti-imperialists.

The preface of the book is very inspiring. He says 'I suppose, in the end, we journalists try- or should try- to be first impartial witness to history. If we have any reason for our existence, the least must be our ability to report history as it happens so that no one can say: 'We didn't know- no one told us'.

I think all the journalist should adopt this attitude, at least I will. I have finished just few hundred pages of the 1200 of the fat book. But they just kept me engaged that I never felt like keeping the book aside. The opening of the book is with his first encounter with Bin Laden. First interview is not very descriptive but the second is.

After reading Osama's version over US invasion in Afghanistan and some other Muslim countries, I was amazed. Osama's some of the arguments against US sound logical but the way he has adopted to fight against the US are wrong.

In today's modern world, one cannot win a war in the name of religion. There has to be a direction to the war, which would be beneficial to oppressed. But people like Osama have no ideologue and no logic to their war. The question which always disturbs me is how long this battle between Christianity and Islam would go, killing crore of innocent lives.

I think to find out my answer, Fisk's book would definitely provide me some background and details of root cause of today's scenario.

Too boring...

I have been reading former BJP leader Jaswant Singh's autobiographical work A Call To Honour for more than 10 days. It is too boring and unnecessary lengthy. I don't even feel like reading it further but I want to read about Kandahar plan hijack case. I need to bear the book for may be one more day. I should finish it tonight.


But after this experience, I am not going to read his new book, Jinnah: India, Partition, Independence, which created lot of controversy and as a result he was expelled from the party. I completely agree that everyone has personal opinion and Singh expressed it through the book. However, forgetting the main culprit of the partition Lord Mountbatten, BJP again opened a fire against Jinnah, Pandit Nehru and Sardar Patel.

The boring text is also affecting my life. I have started feeling very dull and without any enthusiasm. I think I should finish it fast.

Nemade in Crossroads

I went to crosswords yesterday after three years may be. Please do not get surprised because it’s not on my way. I saw a board SALE from outside and immediately went in. Thousands of titles lying on the shelf and table and discount were up to 50 per cent.

Most of the books were really ordinary Dan Brown, Robin Cook, Sidney Sheldon, Paulo Coelho, Orhan Pamuk and many more for which you don’t need an discount. These titles are always available from Rs 50 to 150 at any road side shop in fountain. I was bored. I saw the entire collection twice but couldn’t find anything interesting. Some good titles I already had.

I must mention that they had en entire collection of Noam Chomsky and Karen Armstrong. Finally I got a story book Where The Jackals Howl by Amos Oz.

But a book shelf with regional books attracted me the most. It had Marathi, Hindi and Gujarati books. I was happy to see them. Surprisingly, in the Marathi collection books, the store had all books by Bhalchandra Nemade, one of the great modernist writers in Marathi. They had Kosala, Bidhar, Zool, Jarila and Hool. Some other good authors like Uddhav Shelke, Shyam Manohar and Rangnath Pathare were also in the collection. I was very happy to see the small Marathi collection among western, American and English Indian authors.

There is a common complaint from publishers that Marathi books have no buyers. But I think if available easily at any book store or at least the big one like Crossroads would definitely have buyers.

Bonus!

I got bonus last week. You may not believe but its true. One may wonder about the bonus in recession time so I have to tell the entire story. It actually started with a proposal of Maharashtra Government to build a 309 ft tall statue of Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj in Arabian sea opposite to Marine Drive. The Government appointed an advisory committee for the project and Shahir Babasaheb Purandare was chosen as the president on it.


The controversy started when Maratha organisations opposed the appointment of Purandare alleging him to be biased and writing pro-Brahmin history of Shivaji. There were hot debates from both the sides (not from Purandare but his supporters) and some part of the history was questioned.


One of the allegation from the Maratha organisation was that the character of Shivaji's teacher Dadoji Kondeo did not exist. The Government also removed the mention of it from history books of standard 4th.


I have learned Shivaji mostly through my school books or short stories so this encouraged me to find the truth about the Maratha warrior. There are hundreds of books on Shivaji but I wanted to read some


One my friends suggested me a book by Jadunath Sarkar 'Shivaji and His Times'. It was published by Orient Blackswan. I went to them to collect the book. Years back, I was a frequent visitor of the office, as my friend was working there so knew some people there.


I just said hello to them and then came the surprise I mean bonus. One of the employees there offered me to write some review of there newly published books. I said ok and their kind sales manager handed me three books! (wow) namely This Gift of English (English Education and The Formation of Alternative Hegemony's in India) by Alok K Mukherjee, Good Women Do Not Inherit Land (Politics of Land and Gender in India) by Nitya Rao and Cinema and Censorship : The Politics of Control In India by Someswar Bhowmik.


One book about Indian cinema has been already taken by my friend in office and promised me to even review it. Now I am thinking which one to choose first for review.

Amen!

From thousands of years a man has been worshiping God in some of the other form. The world-wide belief is that 'He' knows everything and 'He' is responsible to run the World. 'He' is pure, holy and possess all the sanctity, which men don't. On the other hand, we think the human world is full of sins, ugliness and abuse. In order to preserve the sanctity, people prefer serving 'Him'. But the path is not so simple.

Former nun Sister Jesme' autobiography 'Amen' published in English recently opens 'the path' to the God's world which is full of sexual abuse, sex scandals, nun suicides, murders and corruption in Educational institutes.

Sr Jesme entres one of the Catholic church in Kerala during her pre-degree course as she gets revelation from Jesus Christ. She decides to become a nun and submits herself to the Christ with the hope of serving him, her entire life.

But as I told you its not so simple. She starts getting acquainted with the darker side of the Church organisation. She gets first experience of sexual abuse after realising girls in her batch were unsettled about going to the confession chamber. The complaint was that the priest there asks each girl if he could kiss them. When she opposes him, he tells her lines from the Bible on divine kisses.

In an other incident, a senior nun forces her to have sex and Sr Jesme has no option and accepts it. In one more incident where a priest asks her to strip. On denial over his demand he asks angrily if she had seen a man. When she says no, he strips himself, ejaculates and forces her to strip.
This is not enough she also alleges the educational institutes for being corrupt and discriminating poor and rich students. The discrimination among staff of the Church is also huge. The caste system very well exists in the Church.

The Church also tries to curtail Sr Jesme's honest efforts to bring transparency in the work. The Church wants to send her for psychiatric treatment and she has to leave the institution forever.
The autobiography is really shacking. It doubts the belief in religion or God. I wonder after so much of hardship and abuse that how can Sr Jesme still has faith in God and the institution. She says the belief only gave her power to deal the situation. Amen!

Dream comes to reality

I deposited my salary cheque today in account and was surprised to know that the account has some balance on the month end. It was like a dream come true for me that I have left enough cash to buy books on month ends.

After work I went to Oxford book store. A first book I saw was Amen by Sister Jasme, which was kept in new arrivals. I was looking for this book for quite a long time. It was much debated book since it reveals corruption and sexual abuse in Churches.

One of my friends was also looking for the same book and he had asked me to buy a copy for him. But the book was not available then. He thought that I didn’t want to buy it for him so avoiding.
He was repeatedly irritated me by reminding for the book. But what to do men it was not in the market. I gave him a list of leading book stalls from where he could have got it.

Finally he got the book two days before me. One of his friends bought it for him from Crosswords. Again the chap called me to tell this. Now what will I do if he has got the copy. I think he wanted me to feel jealous because he specifically told me that it is not available in any other bookstore.

I forgive him because he does not even know bookstores in Mumbai. Now I also have it and I can read with better speed than him.

Another book was A Case Of Exploding Mangoes by Mohammed Hanif. The book was available in paperback edition and in affordable price.

Moral of the story is dreams come into reality sometimes.

I Got A Message!

There was a special message for me from a special person today on my mail. The best known Marathi writer Ranganath Pathare had left the message for me on facebook wow! I felt great.

It said 'thanks shruti.'haran'was written 20 yrs ago.things have changed for worse since then.it was nice hearing from you.many critics feel that ,this is not one of my good works.but there are many readers like you ,who think otherwise.personally ,i also like this work of mine despite some dissatisfaction.by the way , have you come across my new novel,'bhar chaukatil aranyarudan'? i feel that ,this is one of my remarkable attempts in recent times.'

I had commented on his book Haaran actually and he replied to that. Now I am very excited to read his new book.

Crazy surprise

Forgotten an incident to share (as usual busy schedules to be blamed). I came to office after a long day work. Checked mails, letters, fax etc. Had a glance at stories filed and updates. I was just planning to leave and my friend asked me to give his newspaper lying on my table.

I picked it up and returned him, but there was something in that newspaper. Guess??? a book 'Rivana Vahili Mungi' written by Rajan Gawas. I was searching the book for a long time. It was out of print actually. I was a surprised by my friends act.

I remember that I had mentioned him once that I was searching the book but it was very unexpected that he would get it for me. I finished it in three days. The stories were written on rural background and the style was superb.

No, but the surprise was not over yet. I was explaining the friend about the stories I read initially. While talking to him, he suddenly called up someone. It was the author of the book Rajan Gawas. I spoke to him and said I liked his stories. But couldn't talk much it was so sudden. I didn't understand what to say.

The author must be thinking us crazy. But it was really a crazy moment.

Two Marathis Novels

I read two Marathi novels which were completely different from each other. One by Vilas Sarang 'Rudra' and other by Ranganath Pathare 'Haaran'.

Rudra is the story of a poor God. Now one would wonder what is rich God and poor God. But its true. People belongs to different strata of society have different Gods. So he was the poor God. Then he tries to create the world but others rich Gods like Vishnu prevents him from doing so. Rudra has always been given secondary treatment by other Gods and Goddess.

This is sufficient to understand that the author wants to comment on the contemporary world by using mythological characters.

Sarang is known for his experiments in Marathi literature. Some say that his writing is inspired by Kafka, Camus and Sartre. He writes in English too and has been recognised as a modernist writer. I have read his earlier book of stories 'Atank'. The stories are of magic realism type.

Other story of a beautiful girl named Haaran. She born in lower caste, marries to an unsuitable man. The society forces her to break the barriers because everyone wants monopoly on her. But this is not so easy.

Recreation of Torture

Couple of days back I had written about Eric Saar's book Inside The Wire, based on sexual torture at Guantanamo prison. Though here I only talk on books, I am going to write on a blog dedicated to the same topic. Even New York Time's global edition has taken note of the blog.

A blog named http://legofesto.blogspot.com/ describes methods of physical torture in the form of toys. An anonymus author of the blog is pissed up with US and UK's 'War on Terror' and has recreated real events (torture) in the world with the help of legos (toys). A latest post on G20 talks about how an innocent man was beaten to death by police in London. But now the police is trying to hide the matter from legal frame, it says.

Another post on death toll in Iraq is very heart shacking. It says, US Central Commond had once said "We don't count bodies in Iraq". It was supposed to convince a sceptical American public that victory was coming, it adds.

The blog gives great insight to devastation by US millitary in the name of 'War on Terror'.

Sexual Torture at Guantanamo

She started to unbutton her top slowly, teasingly, almost like a stripper, revealing a skin-tight brown Army T-shirt stretching over her chest.

……she walked slowly behind him and began rubbing her breast against his back. “Do you like these big American tits, Fareek?” she said.

“I can see that you are starting to get hard. How do you think Allah feels about that?” she said placing her hands on her breasts. “Don’t you like these big tits?”

……. She started unbuttoning her pants. “Fareek did you know I am having my period?” she said. She placed her hands in her pants as she started circling behind him. “ How do you feel about me touching you now?”

…..she beginning to withdraw her hand from her pants. As it became visible, he saw what looked like red blood on her hand. She hissed, wiping what he believed was menstrual blood on his face.
It may sound like some kind of racy material but no. This was a technique used by an American interrogator (She) on a detainee (Fareek, one of the accused of 26/11) at Guantanamo prison in Cuba.

The details of interrogation techniques and life at Guantanamo prisoner and linguists were revealed by Eric Saar in his book ‘Inside The Wire’ and co-authored by Viveca Novak, a political correspondent of Time. One more black and white proof was presented to American administration by its own Sergeant about mental and sexual tortures of detainees.

It was basically a document submitted by Eric to Pentagon for clearance of his completion of the job was leaked by the Associated Press in 2005. It raised serious questions over US’s 'war on terror'.

Eric initially worked there as a translator for detainees and later helper to the interrogators. Earlier, work was simple as to convey the detainees need to the officials. But working with interrogators was much of a tough job.

The prison had almost all the Muslim detainees mostly from Afganistan and Iraq. Many of them were randomly picked up by Army men and dumped in to jails for years without enquiries, interrogations, lawyers and trails.

The international standards about prisoners were violated many times. In order to break their silence while interrogating detainee's religion was insulted and tried to served his belief.

Some of the interrogators were Muslim and helping the US Government to nail down the truth behind the attacks. In fact, the sexual interrogation technique explained initially was suggested by one of the Muslim linguists. He had said “tell the detainee that she (the interrogator) was having a period and then touch him. That could make him feel too dirty and ashamed to go before God later.”

Bush administration gave a much negative publicity to Abu Gharib prison in Iraq for torturing prisoners after fallout of Saddam but what about the Guantanamo? It is also very shameful and abusing that US military is using females to break the silence of prisoners.

The story doesn’t end there. The treatment given to the prisoners was so bad that anyone belongs to Muslim community would feel disgusting and sympathise towards detainees, despite that they were accused of the terror attack.

The three Muslim linguists were later arrested and sent to prison on the false charges like sedition, mutiny, spying and aiding the enemy.

The story repeatedly indicates that US is fighting no 'war on terror' but it is hatred about Islam. It has already ruined Afghanistan and Iraq in the name of terror and now eyeing Iran and Pakistan for the same.

Loose Control...

'More you control more you tempt to do things, so loose control' - (by yet to be known person Shruti Ganapatye). I was controlling myself from buying books and finally it became uncontrollable that I ended up buying three books.

One I got was Polyester Prince by Hamish McDonald. The book is available in gray market though it is banned. I bought it at King's Circle. I had another copy of this book but my friend took it and forgot to return. But when I saw that I was tempted to buy.

Another I got from same place was Midnight's Children by Salman Rashdie. Out of the guilty that I have not read him bought the book.

Then on the way to office I was waiting for my friend at McDonalds near CST. I saw a board of exhibition by Ashish book stall and I just couldn't miss that. I went in and first book that caught my attention was Rag Darbari by Shrilal Shukla. A day earlier, my friend had recommended me to read the book and I bought that too.

I am feeling great now! Moral of the story is loose control....

'Thumari', The Sound of Life!

There is always an advantage if you know more languages. I am experiencing it. I was bored by reading Marathi and English books and didn't even try to choose a new one. But then I remembered that I have little collection of Hindi books. I choose 'Thumari', a short story book by Phanishwarnath Renu.

I haven't finished it but the book is superb. I first read the story 'Tisari Kasam (or Mare Gaye Gulfam)', which was adapted into a bollywood film. The story is very simple but the way Renu has presented it, is great. He has successfully used local language, folk songs in the story that it really appeals the reader.

Initially it was tough for me to read the language because it is not normal Hindi. But the stories are really interesting. I felt that they were happening around me, in some village, in train or may be in my home.

The characters portrayed by the author are simple or poor people. Usually we don't bother about their lives but in reality their life has many facets, which are unseen by sophisticated people like me. These stories are like a music with different characters representing tones which enhances it's beauty, so the name 'Thumari' (music type or Raaga ).

Now I want to read his first and the most famous novel ‘Maila Anchal’.

Oh! Sorry I forgotten to mention one more book I read was ‘Ek Ladaki ki Jindagi’ by Qurratulain Haider. Haider was just ahead of her time. I think she should have been alive now to write such bold stories.

The novel is based on a girl who chooses her life in her own way. But such people have no place in the society. I always dream that people who are strange in society’s view, should come together to have their own world. I would be one of them and few of my friends would definitely join the world.

I Am In Love...

I am in love with Fermina Daza, Dr Juvenal Urbino, Florentino Ariza, Hildebranda Sánchez, Miss Lynch, the Captain. I love them because we have a small house in perfect sleepy town somewhere in Spain. We earn moderately with not much ambitions. We do whatever we want with no time limit, we go out, we have fun and we even make love at the top of the house witnessing stars. We don’t have much responsibility except we wanted some.

Hmmm... reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Love In The Time of Cholera was like a dream come true for me. Every character of this novel is so independent in a way that I feel jealous at their life. Why I can’t have such a peaceful life?

The novel is a simple love story of two and their life revolves around it till the age of 60. The end of the story is very romantic. With a fear to get exposed before the world that a widow Fermina Daza and an unmarried man, Florentinio Ariza had a date in the boat at the age of 60, they decide not to go back to the cruel world. So what do they do now? They host a yellow flag on the boat indicating cholera patients are traveling. So none of the port allow them to dock with a fear of cholera outbreak. They are forever together with each other.

The story touched me with this end. As a human being we all like imaginations. Things we imagine usually don’t come true, so we enjoy it more. The end of the story is a magic realism type, which keeps you always at high without making one realize the truth.

Marquez, a journalist and a nobel winner, has a special power of imagination. His words are so intense that you cannot escape a line while reading. He is also a master of detailing things. I think I am in love with him also.

'Landmark Khmer Rouge trial starts' : BBC

BBC's website carried a lead story in afternoon yesterday, on Cambodian genocide by Khmer Rouge. The report said 'The long-awaited UN-backed trial of a former Khmer Rouge leader in Cambodia has opened at a Phnom Penh court, 30 years after the murderous regime fell.
Kaing Guek Eav - better known as Duch - was head of a notorious prison camp and is accused of presiding over the murder and torture of at least 15,000 inmates.

The trial is the result of a decade of painstaking and often ill-tempered negotiations, a BBC correspondent says.'

Khmer Rouge, a Communist movement was founded by Pol Pot (Saloth Sar) during 70s in Cambodia. He was said to be forced the city people into villages to bring agrarian civilisation. But history held him responsible for death of two million people, who died from starvation, overwork and execution as the Khmer Rouge emptied the cities to send people to work on collective farms during its four years in power.

This reminds me a book written by Loung Ung, First They Killed My Father:A Daughter of Cambodia Remembers. The book shares a real story of her childhood and beginning of Pol Pot regime.

Loung's family was forced to flee to countryside with leaving everything behind except some money and clothes. I was aghast when I read the description of her family's separation, hard work, hunger and cruelty at children camps. One incident I must mention here, the family left with no food at all and in order to survive, her mother cooks earthworms which grow on deadbodies, for the siblings.

Slowly, she looses her father, brothers, sisters and mother too.Finally she and two brothers managed to escape to Vietnam, then Thailand, then finally to America.

The story was really horrible. The communist regime was criticised by her for destroying a complete generation. But I think, some part of the section, mostly weaker, always undergo such a severe pain whether the regime is communist, capitalist or even democratic. Just think of India, where 77 per cent of our population (836 million people) live on a per capita consumption of less than Rs 20 a day, (Arjun Sengupta report ). The question is how they live?

At Reading in Beijing, Noted Writer Is Stabbed-NYT

Last time I wrote about freedom of speech and today read in New York Times 'A prominent Chinese writer known for provocative, anti-establishment Web postings was stabbed and wounded during a book reading on Saturday.

The writer, Xu Lai, a newspaper reporter, novelist and blogger whose satirical Internet postings are widely followed by students, journalists and the Chinese literati, may have been singled out for his writings, his friends and associates said.'

I wish I could have read his writings or altleast his blog. But that is Chinese. I will wait till it comes in English.

Freedom of Speech and Revolution

I read a news of New Delhi dateline, 'a Bangladeshi author, who was forced to leave his motherland about five years ago because of edicts issued by fundamentalists, can now return home, thanks to the new government in Dhaka which seems to be open to the idea of freedom of expression.

Salam Azad, like controversial writer Taslima Nasreen was accused of being anti-religious following release of his novel "Bhanga Math" (Shattered Dream), in which he had compared the status of minority communities living in Bangladesh in the pre and post 1947 period.

Following publication of the book, fatwas were issued against the author-cum-human rights activist, forcing him to live exiled life in India since Aug 13, 2004. The previous Bangladesh government also disfavoured his return because of apparent pressure from the fundamentalists. However, with the Sheikh Hasina government taking over, he has got permission to return home.' (News from PTI).

I think this is a very positive step in order to preserve freedom of expression of an indivisual. Earlier, Nasreen was thrown out of her own country and India also failed to provide her political asylum. I wish she would also be called back like Azad.

I have not read any writings of Azad, now I have to. But I have read Nasreen. 'Lajja', 'Frech Lover', 'Amar Meyebela' (My Childhood). Lajja was definitely better than others. She was in controversy for criticising Islam, hippocratic society and false relationships. I appreciate her courage to speak up very personal experiences like she was repeatedly raped by her uncle in her childhood.

I recently attended a small debate at Kala Ghoda Festival based on the same topic of freedom of speech - 'Meri Juban Kisane Kati' (Who cut my tongue). One of the speakers, who is also my friend mooted a controversial point. He said poor and oppressed have been prevented from speaking or punished till death, since early period of human history.

But the process can be reversed if all poor come together and cut the tongue of the handful of ruling class. He justified the act and said this cannot be counted as violence but fight for equality.

That's great my friend! His statements created havoc among (sophisticated and Gandhian) audience that how can one justifies violence? Why not? That is known as a 'revolution', the friend said .

I Broke My Resolution

11.00am On Saturday after an early morning assignment I go to Oxford to spend some time.

11.30am I scan all the racks in fiction and non-fiction sections.

11.45am Then I turn to classics, though I have failed to read them earlier.

11.46am I see compilation of Four Great American Classics including The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Adventures of Hucleberry Finn by Mark Twain, The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane and Billy Budd Sailor by Herman Melville.

11.47am It was the edition I had seen earlier also.

11.49am My mind in dilemma, whether to buy it or not?

11.50am I am still in puzzle because my resolution of not to buy any book due to slowdown force me to leave.

11.52am book… buying not…. Yes… no… yes…. No… no…

11.55am Time for decision….

12.00pm I buy the book and break the resolution.

12.05pm Resolutions are meant to be broken, says my mind.

I Cannot Read Classics

Last week was really boring. I started reading a classic, Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice. I had bought the book years back from Fountain's secondhand book stall. The specialty of the copy is that it is a UK Penguin Edition of 1972 with a beautiful cover page. It also has one more surprise inside the cover page, a portrait of Jane Austin, by her sister Cassandra, which has now kept in the National Portrait Gallery.

But somehow, could not finish even 20 pages and stopped reading. I got confused with characters and so many references. This was the second time that I kept it aside. One of my friends said it’s not of my type book. He may be right because he has read it and I am not.

Then I started with another classic Lady Chatterley's Lover by D H Lawrence. And guess what? I couldn’t read that over 50 pages (though more progress than Pride and Prejudice). The book has metaphorical language which I couldn't digest.

Even love making scenes described in the book are so metaphorical that by the time the two caresses each other, one can achieve orgasm twice in reality. May be I should consider the period when it was written.

But now I am worried that why I cannot read classics? I think I need to read Italo Calvino’s Why Read The Classics, which I saw with a friend of mine to understand them.

Fundamenalism in all faiths

I finished with Karen Armstrong's Islam. It was a good book very informative. I have understood many things about Mongol period, Ottoman empire, Muslim empire in India. I always wanted to read more about Mongol and Ottoman empire. I got a basic information of it from the book but not detailed one.

The book starts with short biography of prophet Muhammad and origin of Islam. Then it takes readers to the period of the Mongols; with an introduction to the Safavids, the Moguls, and the Ottomans empire. Lastly it points out challenges before Islam in today's modern society. Here I got my real answer for fundamentalism.

Armstrong has correctly mentioned that fundamentalism has surfaced in all major faiths in response to the problems of our modernity. This is true because no religion can claim that it does not have any issue of fundamentalism. But one can easily understood that the root of fundamentalism lays in the modern society. As certain part of the society keeps progressing by suppressing other section the rift between the two widens. This increasing gap encourages fundamentalism.

A recent example is Malegaon blast case, where Hindu fundamentalists were alleged of being involved. The reason for mentioning the particular example is that till now the all communities used to point out Muslims as fundamentalists, but its not true.

Back on the book, it has written in a balanced way and with a simple language so that common people can read and understand about the religion. Some of my doubts are still not clear about Islam. I think I need to read more about it. Someone has suggested me Martin Lings, Montgomery Watt or Maxime Rodinson, Bernard Lewis and Achdiat Karta Mihardja. I have long way to go!

I Got More Armstrongs....

Hey! There is good news for all book lovers. Strand book store has started their annual sale and exhibition at Sundarbai hall, Churchgate. (Though my best friend said that they didn’t have new books and authors, it’s all old stock. But visiting once is ok).

I visited the exhibition on first day and guess what did I get? Three books of Karen Armstrong. Wow! I am happy because after reading her Muhammad: A Prophet for Our Time (which of course introduced to me by the same friend), I was longing to other titles.

I got three of them, Islam: A Short History, A History of God (the most famous title of her) and The Battle for God: A History of Fundamentalism (this was gifted by another friend she said it was birthday gift, cool! I wish my birthday could come on every month).

I am just too eager to start with one the books. But need to finish Isabelle Eberhardt’s In the Shadow of Islam.

Other book I bought was D H Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover, as I need to read more classics to understand and improve my language. I also got The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin and Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood. I am feeling great after buying so many books. But now I need some time to read them. I think I should put a leave application now and read all the books 24/7.

Touchy Blue Eyes

I read a book review of Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye on one of the sites. I liked the concept of it that a black girl named Pecola who yearns for blue eyes. She thinks the blue eyes would make her beautiful and her all problems in the life would be solved. People' s attitude towards her would also change because then she would be a beautiful girl.

Immediately went to the second hand book shop at Fountain and bought it for Rs 200 though it was a pirated copy.

When I finished the book, I was completely zapped by it. Its not only the girl's yearning for blue eyes but the all about racism, sexuality, seduction, incest, rape, repression and innocence.

Pecola, belongs to a poor black family in Ohio province. Her mother Pauline does all the household work, father Cholly, a drunker and brother Sammy does not have any great existence in their life.

The black, ugly girl keeps wishing for blue eyes and everyday prays for that. She thinks if she could look beautiful with blue eyes then all her worries and sorrows would be gone. She can have more attention from her parents. There would not be any quarrel between them. Teachers would treat her like other girls and life would be definitely different.

The story starts with Pecola being pregnant from her own father. Her father has failed in his life forever at all levels. He lives a distant life and blames humiliations experienced in past for that. Cholly represents the negative freedom in the society. He drunks, he beats his wife, he doesn't earn and he also rapes own daughter.

Pauline came from a village and becomes an independent women when she realizes her husband's drinking problem. She has a lame foot and impurity complex for her ugliness. She feels most alive when she is at work, cleaning a white woman's home. Pauline, encourages her husband's violent behavior in order to reinforce her own role as a martyr.

But there is one more character Soaphead Church, who is the pastor of the local church. He is the wicked person in the novel and a pedophilic. He sexually exploits Pecola and promises her to give the blue eyes.

Pecola is a symbol of a vulnerable part of the society. Unable to fight with surroundings, she forces herself into a fantasy world. She is the target of hatred for everyone. It also indicates the impurity complex of the black community towards their colour.

The author gives fairly enough chance to every character to justify themselves. But still Pecola's exploitation cannot be justified. Finally she looses her mind and just remains the reminder of human cruelty.

Author has lashed the hypocrisy in the society through the novel. The society decides norms and punishes the vulnerable if they break it. But one can do anything if he or she is mighty enough.

The past exeperinces of life always reflects the future. Person gets bad experience in the life. But human mind is so wicked that instead of fighting against the society, it takes revenge from the poorest part of the society.

Islam in Armstrong's view

I received an SMS: A man in US sees a dog about to bite a lady. He kicks d dog 2 death. Newspapers report: Us citizen saves lady from dog. Man says he was not a US citizen. So report changed: Foreign hero saves lady from dog. Man says he was from Pakistan, Next days headline: Terrorist attacks local dog.

I found this is utter rubbish. How one held responsible an entire nation for few terrorists. I repeatedly asked this question to many but most of them have no satisfactory answer. People think Muslims or Pakistanis are terrorists by birth.

Yesterday's editorial in Saamana, Shiv Sena mouthpiece criticised slain ATS chief Karkare's family again for showing humanitarian approach towards Kasab, the only terrorist caught during Mumbai terror attacks.

Actually, frequent terror attacks are compelling people to spread such messages. But none of the religion especially Islam ever started with an aim to produce terrorists or Jihadis. This reminds me Karen Armstrong's book Muhammad: A Prophet for Our Time, which gives brief biography of Islam and its founder Prophet Muhammad in a very balanced and in-depth manner. The book may reduce distortion and myths about the religion and of course "Islamophobia" in people’s mind. It was rewritten on the backdrop of 9/11 attacks on US.

Armstrong says the second largest faith in the World is Islam but people don't know much about it. In fact they have many myths and misconceptions about the religion and prophet Muhammad. After 9/11 attacks Muhammad was alleged of being a ‘terrorist’ and ‘pedophile’ which is nonsense.

The story starts in 500 century when Quraysh tribe was dominating in Arabia. Social atmosphere during the period was very unstable and the region was prone to internal conflicts. Though born and brought up in such atmosphere, Muhammad’s took first bold step when he was 25 and married to a widow Khadija who was 40 years old.

Soon after that Muhammad received revelations from God which he preached to close ones and then to all. This is known to be the first form of holy book Quran.

Islam was definitely more progressive compared to other religions of that time since it allowed widow marriage, care for orphans and the poor, belief in justice, equality and compassion. The most surprising was that it treated women equally by giving them property rights and right to divorce. Though the prophet promoted peace in the tribe, he also fought wars when inevitable, Armstrong says.

The meaning of Islam is surrender or submission (to God). Praying together, eating together, staying together were the simple lessons in Islam created to keep the isolated people binding in real sense. In fact, no activity was excluded from mosque like Churches, which were devoted only to worship.

There is also a misconception in western world that Prophet Muhammad was a womanizer because he married to five women. But in reality he was married to Khadija only. (Hindu hero Shri Krishna married to 18,000 women because their husbands were killed in war but we never alleged him.) All his other wives were political or social ties with his companions. None of them bore any children to the prophet except Khadija. He was also criticized for married was married to his daughter in law Zeinab.

But what I have understood is that Zeinab was not his daughter in law in first place. She was a wife of his servant. The servant was very loyal to the prophet and that is why he was adopted by the latter. As per the Quran, adopted girl or boy does not get any legal status. In that sense the servant was not his legal son and according to the revelation from God, the prophet married to Zeinab.

In this whole making and practicing of Islam, there is no encouragement or a single word on terrorism. Jihad has been mentioned as a struggle for survival. I think Islam was way ahead of the ancient religions of that time like Christianity, Judaism and even Hinduism. It was originated to emancipate the people from conflicts and provide them a stable life.

In my opinion, the origin of any religion has been always same except the Hindu religion, which started with an intension to exploit people (See the philosophy of Manu). New religions were created in the human history because the earlier religion was exploiting certain section of society.

Not withstanding the exploitation new religion was the way out for the people. This I believe an unending process, because the new religion also goes in the same manner of the old and starts exploiting people. Now it is interesting on my side to read further that why Islam became so radical and pushed its self centuries back.

The Reality

`If a Mahabharata war had actually been fought on the scale reported, nearly five million fighting men killed each other in an 18-day battle between Delhi and Thanesar; about 130,000 chariots (with their horses), an equal number of elephants and thrice that many riding horses were deployed. This means at least as many camp-followers and attendants as fighters. A host of this size could not be supplied without a total population of 200 millions, which India did not attain till the British period, and could not have reached without plentiful and cheap iron and steel for ploughshares and farmers1 tools. Iron was certainly not available in any quantity to Indian peasants before the 6th century BC. The greatest army camp credibly reported was of 400,000 men under Candragupta Maurya, who commanded the surplus of the newly developed Gangetic basin. The terms patti,gulma etc., given as tactical units in the Mbh did net acquire that meaning till after the Mauryans. The heroes fought with bows and arrows from their chariots, as if the numerous cavalry did not exist; but cavalry—which appeared comparatively late inancient Indian warfare—made the fighting chariots obsolete as was proved by Alexanderin the Punjab.`

This bold statement was made by historian D D Kosambi in his book Myth and Reality.
I completed reading the book while was in Nagpur. I was amazed by his profound research of history specialy ancient coins, idols and artifacts. These artifacts reveal the vital information of human life in that period which tells us our own evolvment.
Few more information I would share here:

'Let me put it that the underlying difficulties were economic. Images locked up too much useful metal; monasteries and temples after the Gupta age withdrew far too much from circulation without replacement or compensation by adding to or stimulating production in any way. Thus, the most thoroughgoing iconoclast in Indian history was another king Harsa (1089 - 1101 AD) who broke up all images in Kasmir, except four that were spared. This was done systematically under a special minister devotpatananayaka, without adducing the least theological excuse, though one could easily have beenfound.'

The book is full of such incidences with Kosambi's logical interpretation. It basically focuses on the origins and development of Indian culture. It also indicated similarities between two cultures of same period like Indian and Greek.

One more interesting observation I would like to mention which would trouble theist people:

`......The best such recent example is that of Satyanarayana, "the true Narayana', so popular all over the country, but which has no foundation whatever in scripture, and which is not even mentioned 200 years ago. Indeed, the origin seems to be in the popular legends of one Satya Pir, in Bengal; the Pir himselfbecame Satyanarayana. The vedas have a Visnu, but no Narayana. The etymology seems to be he who sleepsupon the flowing waters (nara) and this is taken as the steady state of Naifiyaija.'

I need to read the book again in order to remember some vital information he achieved through the research.

A Woman in African Desert

I have started reading Isabelle Eberhardt's In The Shadow of Islam which I bought last month from Strand book store. Actually the synopsis of the book forced me to buy it. The story is of early 19th century when a woman wearing men's clothes travels in the deserts of North Africa alone.

Isn't the concept exciting?

I was trying to imagine how would have been the situation then for her, how did she managed to travel and what was her intention behind it. Many questions and only one answer-- buy the book. So spent Rs 400 and copy was mine.

It is one of the books from Peter Owen series, original Arabic translated in English.

Isabelle was born in Geneva in 1877, the illegitimate daughter of a Russian priest and a half-Russian and half-German aristocrat. She spent much of her short life in north Africa where she converted to Islam. She died an unfortunate death at the age of 27.

Strange Addiction

I am addicted to a strange habit-buying books almost every week. I don't know how I got addicted with it but I am spending all my pocket money only on books. Another thing when I get frustrated or feel tensed, I prefer to buy a book to feel relax and I do!

Last few months I have bought about 15 books or may be more. Whenever I see a book I cannot resist myself from buying it. What to do? How to save money?

I tried a library option but didn't work. The book I want is never available. Now my book stock is freely flowing at home. One can see books everywhere, on cupboard, table, TV, refrigerator, bed, kitchen parapet and many other places I cannot name here.

I think I need to buy a bookshelf to keep these books neatly. But again I am running short of money because whenever I have extra bucks, I prefer spending them on books.

A Deekshabhumi book Store

I had been to Nagpur for almost 17 days. It was a good change for me though I was on duty. I was carrying a book of short stories by Rabindranath Tagore but somehow couldn't read a single story.

I visited Deekshabhumi at Nagpur, a place where Dr Babasaheb Ambedkar converted into Buddhism. My friend took me there. The place was very peaceful and huge. But we found one strange thing there. My friend said it could be the impact of Hindu religion on Buddhism. A Buddha idol was surrounded with 'Dan Peti' (Fund Box).

But important thing is that I found a bookstore there and just couldn't refrain myself from visiting it.
The book was full of Ambedkar and Dalit literature. It had many good authors in Hindi and English too. Apart from books it had Buddha idols, greetings, showpieces and many other things. I had to visit twice the place and still not satisfied.

I bought some good books. One of them was Dr Ambedkar's Who Were Shudras and D D Kosambi's Myth and Reality (both in Marathi). I had read the Shudras.... long ago but didn't have my own copy. Then I gifted two to my friend one was one of the best long story Sood written by Baburao Bagul and Shahid Bhagat Sing's Why I Am An Atheist (both in Marathi).

A second time I visited the store with to buy another copy of the Myth and Reality for my best friend. I just liked it and amazed by reading Kosambi's research work. I would gift him.